I am not lost…

June 12, 2017

State of the Rion

I figure we’ll talk personal today. It’s a fitting day to do such. Besides, a lot has happened since the last time I updated you. (Since I can’t remember when that was.)

So today is my parents’ wedding anniversary, which is awesome. 🙂 They’ve been married 35 years, which especially as I look around at so many other families around me, that’s pretty darn impressive. I’ve been very lucky to have an amazing relationship with my parents–particularly since I’m an only child–and be able to share as much with them as I have. I was never a “normal” kid, for whatever constitutes normal, and as I got older I didn’t get any closer to a center point. And there more than a few LGBT kids who did not have the kind of supportive family I did. My parents don’t really understand my gender issues, but they try incredibly hard and I am so thankful for them. They try to use less gender-specific words, they’ve adapted remarkably well to my going by Rion (God forbid I ever try to change my name to anything else), they make an effort to teach as best they can to those around them. My little queer boy heart can’t stand it half the time. We’re going out to dinner tonight for a big special feast–revisiting where they had dinner on their honeymoon, now that we live about an hour away. I’m excited, and as always, I’m touched they choose to include me in their celebration.

(And for all your snark monsters out there, no. I’m not the reason they got married. 😉 I came along about five years after.)

It’s also the beginning of my second week at work! New job, new stuff to learn, new schedule to adapt to. I was absolutely exhausted on Friday by the time I got home. Between my new work schedule and the trips to the gym I’ve been taking, I was utterly wiped out. And yet I know that I have so much work to do tomorrow and Sunday. I’m still working on recording some audiobooks, and though I’ve wanted to be doing those after work…again. Exhausted. No time or energy to stand for 45-60 minutes and record a book, no matter how much I love the book. (No worries, I have time before the deadline. I’ll get my work done.) And I do love the book, and the author who wrote it. He’s a good friend and I’m happy to be able to do this work for him.

I’ll just be even happier when it’s done and I can just sleep for a whole weekend.

I’ve also started listening more intently to the Hamilton soundtrack. (I know, I know. I’m way behind the times.) But given my obsession for tongue twisters and singing fast, I don’t know why I didn’t get into this show sooner. Having conquered “Guns and Ships” it’s all downhill from here. (This is not true.) I’ve managed to get the first 4 songs or so down, and I have the beginning of the chorus from track 5 (where we meet the Schuyler sisters) stuck in my head. (WORK, WORK) I’m determined to learn Hamilton’s part as he sings over Seabury because god that scene makes me laugh. (Don’t modulate the key and then not debate with me!) It’s nice to have something to listen to in the car on my now longer commute. 😉 It’s not a super long drive, but it’s long enough.

My bullet journal continued to be a mixed success. I think, as with so many things, once I get settled into this routine, I’ll have a much better time of using the bujo…since I’ll have some level of energy to actually do anything I write down on it after work/workout. (work, work) I’ve had the same tasks on it for about three days now. Oops? Such is the way life goes whenever a big change happens.

But I have started going to the gym again, which is good because I’m officially the heaviest I’ve ever been. (I’m not giving you a number. It’s not pleasant.) I’m still working on (work, work) curbing my snacking habits, because those got exceptionally bad in the week or two leading up to starting work again. I’m not entirely sure why, but it brought back a lot of very bad habits. Benefit is that I am at least slowly decreasing my ability to snack…since I keep eating what’s in my office. That being said, I did go on a honey butter chip buying frenzy a few days ago…but I’m better at rationing those. (Also I haven’t taken them out of my car yet.) I’m determined to make this work. I have a gym membership to the local Planet Fitness, and I opted to get the Black Card membership, so I’m like a VIP or something. It’s funky. Massage chairs and beds and tanning stuff and half-off drinks and and and…it’s all very overwhelming. I haven’t utilized any of that stuff yet, but I’m planning on trying it out. I’ve always been fascinated by tanning beds, though I’m pretty sure the last time I tried one, I got sunburnt. Maybe I’ll try the standing one they apparently have. (Seriously, this place is so fancy.) I also signed up for a class on the 20th to have one of the personal trainers help me figure out a routine. I am absolutely terrified about this. I’ve resisted talking to a trainer for so long, but now it’s literally part of my membership. I don’t have to pay extra for this, and there are a million other classes I could potentially take as well. If I’m going to get serious about this, I need to start nailing myself down to this stuff. The more I make myself do, the more I’ll feel obligated to do it–and then I’ll actually start to (hopefully) get into better shape. I can’t let this upward climb continue. I can’t.

So that’s about where I am right now. As you read this I’m on my way to an awesome dinner, where I will eat and drink way too much and not feel even the slightest bit bad about it. And the next day? I’ll get up and go to work…and then hit the gym again.

Looking for a mind at work, indeed. (work, work)

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