It’s Been a Long December

…and there’s reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last…

I’m pretty sure every December, that song gets stuck in my head, but I’m taking it to heart this year. I always talk big about all the things I’m going to do in any given coming year, and then by April it’s all shot to pieces. But 2019 needs to be different–if for no other reason than I’m going to be too busy for it to be anything but.

I’m tired of all the years I’ve spent saying I’m going to do something and failing. I’m tired of looking at posts in my Timehop from 8-10 years ago, talking about needing to lose weight. It’s disheartening. I’ve spent a lot of December 2018 getting myself back into a good place physically, and now it’s time to keep backing this up with more actions. So I’m starting here with you all, and letting you know where I am.

So as for what happened in December: first off, my doctor and I determined back in November that my thyroid levels are in the toilet, and this is likely why I’ve been so tired all the dang time lately. So I’m back on the synthroid meds to try and get my body back to somewhere normal. When you read this, I’ll have already gone to the doctor’s and hopefully either seen the latest blood tests, or have gotten it drawn so we can see where I’m at presently. I’m still tired all the time, so part of me is hoping that I’m not where I should be with that yet, and that we’ll be able to increase a dose or something.

Next up, I finally got myself around to seeing a dentist again. I’ve had multiple cavities and whatnot which have been lurking for years now, and I’ve never been in a position to get them all fixed–given that it’s usually to the tune of $300 a filling, I need about 14 of them, and I have no dental insurance. But now with my job seeming pretty steady, I found a dentist I like–who told me I have even more problems than I thought I did–but confirmed that I do need a root canal in one tooth. (This did not come as a surprise.) On the 15th of this month, I have my first attempt at it–because of course my body is making it difficult and we’re not even sure if we’ll be able to do a proper root canal. But that’s down the road, and isn’t anything I can be focusing on now.

Or at least, I shouldn’t be.

Also also, I’m working very closely with the oft-spoken-of M.C.A. Hogarth with the audiobook work I’m doing for her–which has me getting something like 6-7 audiobooks done for her this year. I’m incredibly excited about this, because 5 of those are one of my all-time favorite series of hers, and the one I started doing audio work because of, in hopes that some day I could voice them. So needless to say, I want to work on those and I want to make them perfect. But that’s a lot of work, and it’s going to take a lot of focus.

Or, as I’ve determined my word for the year will be, it’s going to take a lot of determination.

Yes, I’m that much of a nerd that I’m using Undertale as my inspiration, but in the long run I think it makes sense. Determination, in the sense of the game, is the power that humans have that allows them to cheat death and come back to their save point. It’s what keeps the character going until they get to where they want to be, no matter the consequences. And that’s the type of mentality I’m going to need to adopt for the year. And I’m happy to do it.

My friend Kelly is a MyIntent Maker, and she’s very graciously agreed to make me a necklace with my word stamped onto it. I’m writing this the night of the 1st, so if it arrives by the time this goes live, I’ll include a picture of it at the bottom. I’m planning on wearing it all year, to remind me of my determination.

Audiobooks. Getting writing again. Getting to the gym again. Getting my body in a better place over all. Reading as much as I want to be. 

I will be FILLED with DETERMINATION.