One Year Ago Today

There is a blessing and a curse when it comes to apps and programs like Timehop. I am often reminded, when it sends me back far enough, about times I had with people I no longer speak to…am not friends with anymore. It’s hard, seeing those names. Remembering that there were good times mixed with the bad, and missing those times.

But today isn’t a day like that. Today is a much happier memory day, and one that more directly ties into this here blog.

Today is the one-year anniversary of when I began my journey as a BookTuber.

It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year, and yet in many ways, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long. Back in 2015, I was still unemployed and looking for a job–any job–that would hire me and let me stop panicking about how I would pay my rent for that month. I was fighting to find a way to keep myself occupied day to day, and in turn, keep myself focused on my writing in any way I could manage. I’d restarted this blog several times over, but the most recent reboot was about a month back, and I had been doing relatively well with how much I wanted to post.

But I’d loved doing YouTube in the past, when I’d been making daily vlogs during NaNoWriMo, and then the attempts at weekly vlogs after that. I hadn’t done well, but I wanted to try. Particularly with my recently developed fascination for YouTubers and Let’s Players, and the concept that some people made their living on YouTube. (Did I think I was going to be one of those people? No. I’m still not. But it would be a cool thing if it happened.) So why not? My MFA colleague was doing it; I could join the club. I watched a few other people, got some ideas, and plunged back into my iMovie to see what could be done.

Now I sit here, exactly one year later, and I’m amused. Just last week I was struggling to put up any of my videos because my computer Refused To Work With Me for the longest time. I just set up my office so that it was more conducive to making videos. I’m behind but I’m willing to start catching up. It’s been a very long time since I could say that I’d done anything this consistently for a year.

I’m proud of myself. This is something I’ve wanted, and it’s been able to drive me for all this time. It’s keeping me focused, even if I’m not writing as much fiction as I might like. I have lists of potential submission markets; I’m in the process of contacting a mentor to finally finish the edits to my main manuscript. I haven’t forgotten all of that, even in the chaos my life has been for the past year. And I’m willing to guess that my consistency here has helped with other places in my life as well, since if I’m consistent in one area of my life, that helps create a schedule which isn’t deviated from too much. (Now all I need to do is control my eating, and I should be set!) I am worlds away from the person I used to be, and that’s a good thing. I shouldn’t still be that person; I didn’t want to remain that person. I’ve wanted to be bigger–better–faster–stronger. (The King of Spain?)

Maybe…just maybe…I’m slowly getting there.