You’d almost think me showing up here and saying that I was going to start writing to write more regularly again would be an April Fool’s joke, but I promise I don’t intend for it to be.
I don’t really have a good excuse. I’ve been lost in games and YouTube and a thousand other places. I haven’t been reading. I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been doing my YouTube videos. I haven’t been doing anything. I’ve been sitting and watching the same videos over and over again because that’s what my brain feels like it can handle. And I’ve spent each month saying “Okay, now this is the time you’re going to change.” And then every month, it’s not.
I want this month to be the one.
Often times, I think my trouble is that I jump back into everything at once. I try to update ALL the things, and then I burn myself out and go back to my bad old habits. I don’t want to be stuck there, but I also can’t keep telling myself that “well, I’ll start back up with X once I finally have Y under control.” That time never comes. Everything just slips out from my grasp again. I need to jump on it, and I need to do it right.
Yes, work has been stressful. There’s been a lot of change, and it’s shifting a lot of the focus onto me where it hasn’t been before. It’s starting to ease now, but it’s still going to take getting used to. But it means I’m exhausted at the end of the day. I need to go to the gym. Intellectually, I know this will help with the exhaustion. In practice, it just seems like torture. I also know that going to the gym will give me time to read, because I read while I’m on the treadmill or what have you. Two birds with one stone! But tired.
I don’t know. When I think too hard about it, my mind spirals off into tangents barely related. But one of these days I’ll get my life back up and running. I’m hoping that today can be a good day for that. April Fool’s, laziness. I’m kicking you in the butt and making you work again.
Welcome to April, my literary luminaries. Let’s make some noise.