So I’ve been talking about the concept of determination, and how I want to double down on all the stuff I want to do this year. As of when I’m writing this, I’m not getting through everything as much as I want or as fast as I want (yes, I know it’s still only January, but I’m hard on myself) but I’m still determined. But here’s what I’ve really narrowed it down to.

I have too many interests.

It’s an odd thought, to have too many interests. But a conversation with my mother the other day brought it to mind. I’d mentioned going to Gamestop and getting some games on sale, and she’d asked how often I played my games.
And it pulled me up short, because the answer was “not all that often.”

It’s not that I don’t like gaming! I may suck at games, but I adore them. I have so many games I want to play, and many others I’d love to play again, and hopes for others in the future. But a lot of the games I have…well, they’ve been sitting on my shelf for a loooooong time. So I sat down and thought about all the things I enjoy, that take up time in my day.

  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Video Games
  • Crochet
  • Jewelry making
  • Movies
  • Drawing
  • Guitar
  • Photography
  • Let’s Play watching

Yeah…I’m starting to see the issue.

Most of these things can’t all be done at the same time. I spend a lot of time with Let’s Plays on while I’m doing something else (I’ve got JackSepticEye’s LP of The Escapists on beside me right now) and sometimes I’m okay writing with someone yammering at me. And out of all of them, that’s the one that multi-tasks the best. I can’t really read and watch a movie at the same time–at least not a new movie. I can’t play guitar and play a video game at the same time–no, Rock Band doesn’t count. I can’t make jewelry and take photos at the same time.
Photography is one of the ones I see getting pushed aside the most often, because it requires me leaving the house–which essentially kicks everything else off the table for large chunks of time. Now at least at the moment, it’s cold and dark during most of my free time, so it makes photography a touch more difficult. But the rest…I can come up with excuses for all kinds of things, but it comes down to “sitting and watching Let’s Plays is easy, and other things are hard.”

And indecision paralysis is such a factor. Oh lordy, is it ever.

I have all these options! Think of all the things I could do! I have so much time! …..and now I’ve spent nine hours deciding what to do and I haven’t accomplished anything other than sitting on my butt and staring at nothing.

2019 needs to be the end of that. 2019 needs to be when I get through some of these things. Play the games. Read the books. Take the pictures. Exercise and sleep better. All the things.

Filled with determination.


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